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Suzanne Banta

#016: “I’m Having Mindset Issues”

Listen to Episode 16

It’s What To Say Wednesday and today we’re digging in to what you say when your client says, “I’m having mindset issues.” Stay tuned.

Welcome to the Client Whisperer Show. I’m your host Tony Banta and I am the Client Whisperer. I’ve spent over a decade running multiple six and seven figure client businesses and I’ve learned that the secret to success in a client business comes down to one thing, leadership. Bad client behavior is the enemy, and with the right curriculum, infrastructure and mindset, you can lead your clients to great success and scale your business the easy way.

Have you ever had this happen where someone is showing up and they’re self identifying their own mindset issues?

Well, if you have, congratulations cause this is amazing and it means that you’ve done a good job. It means that you’ve done a good job in helping them understand that there is more to their success than just the tactics and defining the tactics hard. Then it’s incredibly likely that there’s something going on under the surface. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s not only okay. It’s kind of necessary to be mindful of what’s going on underneath the surface. Because there is an underneath the surface. We are like iceberg where there is a vast amount of depth to all of us than what we see on the surface. And if you are only looking at the tactical pieces of your client’s performance, the tactical pieces of your own offer, and there’s a really good chance of missing really valuable parts puzzle to activate those skills and the results necessary for your clients to feel like they achieved success, actually objectives achieved success and to be at a place where they’re ready to invest in more.

And this is what you want to optimize for. You want to optimize for this place of how, how do you help them achieve success in your program? All the way down from mindset to tactical to how they think about and interpret the results that they’re getting, the leading indicators of those results that they’re getting so that they can refine their process and ultimately get to the goal. So if someone’s showing up saying, “I’m having mindset issues,” that’s amazing and, and you deserve a high five. Now what do you do after that?

What do you do after that? Well, here’s where it gets tricky because we can’t tell someone that they’re having mindset issues. Believe me, I’ve tried. Here’s what happens. Whenever you tell someone that they’re experiencing mindset issues, their ego goes crazy, goes into self protection overdrive mode. It’s the very rare person where you can say to them, Hey dude. Hey bro, hello my friend. You’re having mindset issues and have them be able to hear that and in a way that allows them to go do something different. It’s a very rare person, very self aware person and what happens and rarely do self-aware people have mindset issues that they’re not themselves asking about. Sometimes it happens certainly, but as a rule, as a service provider, we can’t, we can’t get in the middle of that. We can’t get in that way. We can’t be the ones telling them that they have mindset issues and pushing that on them from the top down.

It just doesn’t work. And more than that, it really is unkind cause that can throw them into a tizzy. Even if, and I’m going to go even, I’m going to go one step further, even if they’re showing up and saying, Hey, I have mindset issues. I really want to encourage you not to say yes, you’re right you have. One of, of, of my coaches over the years and a good friend of mine, uh, he’s, he is, uh, depending on, on, on when this runs, cause we record episodes a little bit in advance. He either will be on the show as a guest or he’s already been, but he said to me, Alex Navas, if anyone’s wondering, he said to me, uh, one time when, when I said to him, uh, and he was a coach inside of, of a program that I was in, I said, I’m having mindset issues. He, he immediately sent me a message back and said, no, you’re not.

You’re having mindset growth. Now why did he do this? Well, he did this because he, he wanted to pivot out of the issue. You wanted to pivot out of the problem. You wanted to encourage the amazing part that I was actually conscious of my own mindset and that I was taking ownership. I was taking responsibility for it. He wanted to lead me in that way without giving the problem any more energy without feeding into that at all. So he said, No, I’m reframing this. You’re having mindset growth and of course you’re having mindset growth. Look at where you were before, look at where you’re, you’re coming into. You’ve intentionally set the path for the growth that you want to have and you’re intentionally working through it. Now, I felt two things when he said this one, I’m going to be honest, I felt a little bit crappy and there’s a chance that if you say something like this, your clients, they might feel crappy too, and I’m not sure that that’s a bad thing.

There was part of that that feel crappy because at the time that I was saying that I was at a low point, my expectations of, of the results that were supposed to come from what I was doing were way higher than what the lead indicator would actually have shown. There were a mixture of reasons why quite honestly there were, were structural problems to the program that I was working that, that, you know, Alex is a coach, didn’t have any responsibilities, uh, and, and didn’t, uh, you know, have, have an ability to change those who is a phenomenal coach in what he was doing though. And also I set myself up for that. I set myself up for the struggle because I, because I was going all in on something and I didn’t, which was great, but I didn’t have, I didn’t know enough to know what my expectations should be.

I didn’t, I hadn’t tried enough of these things was a period of time for me where I was coming off of doing traditional consulting where I was flying around the country, driving around the East coast near where we live, um, and not near where I was living to go work on site with, with, with clients. So I was on the run all the time. I had better relationships with the, I would joke I, I had, I had better relationships with people, with the people that worked at the airport than with the people that I was dating. And that’s a little bit of a joke, but it’s still a little bit true. And so I was coming off of that where a lot of things were done for me. A lot of things were, were, were handed to me. I didn’t need to worry about a lot of what I was doing and that was phenomenal.

But I also didn’t have control over even just what bed I wanted to wake up in. Right. Cause I was on the road. So that was not fun. It was coming off of that. And I was building my consulting practice online and I just didn’t know what it would take for some of the marketing, some of those things. And if you’ve been there, if you’ve been there and you’ve had a, a fast trajectory of growth through that, then then that’s phenomenal. I’m really happy for you. Uh, mine was not fast. I needed to learn, you know, I needed to learn more of the marketing in this way then I was familiar with before that I was the systems guy, I’m an operations guy. I wasn’t the sales and marketing guy up to that, you know, up to that point. And now I had to, I had to be, that was what I needed to be.

So I put a lot of that pressure on myself and it felt crappy because honestly, because I wanted to steep in my mindset issue. And that was the power of what he said. And you need to be really careful of this. Not that I’m, you know, the norm of what clients are going to experience. But if somebody’s aware enough to self identify their own mindset issues, then one of two things is true. They either have the tools to get out of that or they, and truth be told, everybody has the tools to get out of it, but some people want to steep in it. Some people want to sit in the mindset, his shoe and stay there for a while and really where that really enjoy that, that victim ha that victim cloak that they’ve wrapped around themselves like a cocoon. So that’s why Alex pivoted out of that.

That’s why he made it really clear. No, this is mindset growth and you’re passing through this, but this isn’t where you’re living. That’s a really powerful message. Here’s what I would encourage you to say if a client shows up and says this. No listener of this What To Say Wednesday series will be surprised by what I’m about to say, but your next comment, especially if you’re on a one on one call with someone and they say it if they say it in a, in a Facebook group or a Slack chat or something like that, it’s a different story. But if somebody says it to you, you know on a call, especially a one on one call, but even a group called you could probably do this. What do you mean? Let’s have them bring more facts out on the table for you before you jump in and tell them what they should be thinking or what they should. It’s really good as an advice across the board. What do you mean? Let’s get a little bit more information. Once you understand what they think is the mindset issue, I would encourage you to pivot them out of that, to reframe it as mindset growth, to frame it as, and you can even ask them, does this look like mindset growth or is this an issue? Because we want to discern, do they need help with something to get them out of it? Really important distinction or are they just passing through and that’s it?

They need help to get them out of it. Then I would encourage you as, as, as much as you can to to give them that help to ask them, how are you interpreting this? Ask them a couple of questions about their, their experience, their perception. Ask them a couple of questions about the results that they’re expecting to get in, the results that they’re getting. Ask them a couple of questions about their identity and then offer back to them feedback on the identity, the perception, the leading indicator, the way to interpret the result of somebody that would crush it, the program.

No, you said all the way to the end. I have one little additional drop for you. Don’t tell someone they need mindset help. I said that earlier. Do you know what to say to them? Offer them success coaching, and then in that success coaching, either with you or, or it’s a great opportunity to add in a strategic partner. Feel free to reach out to me if you’d like, if you’d like some names of some of some amazing mindset coaches. Offer them success coaching. Success is something that everybody wants and that if they’re not achieving that success, then they especially want success coaching.

It’s a great way to add something on to your program. Talk about more about how to do that in the later episodes. Have a great rest of your week. We’ll be back Friday with another amazing teaching episode. Talk soon

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