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Tony Banta

“This is really hard.” – Ep. 007
Full Show Notes

What do you say when a client says “this is really hard.”

The bigger our goals, the greater the resistance. In this What To Say Wednesday, we dig into how to help your client overcome that objection to their own success and keep them engaged.

Production for this episode is made possible by The Client Success System® For more information on the client fulfillment audits and to speak to one of our consultants, go to

Show Resources:

  • Watch this Episode on YouTube.
  • Read the complete show notes.
  • Access the complete transcript.

It’s What To Say Wednesday and today we’re digging in to what you say when your client says, this is really hard. Stay tuned.

Welcome to the Client Whisperer Show. I’m your host Tony Banta, and I am the Client Whisperer. I’ve spent over a decade running multiple six and seven figure client businesses and I’ve learned that the secret to success in a client business comes down to one thing, leadership. Bad client behavior is the enemy. And with the right curriculum, infrastructure and mindset, you can lead your clients to great success and scale your business the easy way.

Thanks for tuning in to our second What To Say Wednesday. So what do you say when a client says, “this is really hard?” Rarely do clients say it in that voice, but I like to put it in that voice for myself. I hear clients in that voice when they’re arguing against their own success because that’s what’s happening.

How many of us learned how to walk? All of us, I hope. And when we did it was hard. We fell down, we scraped our knees on things, right? We maybe even fell down on a hard surface and hit our head occasionally. But we did that and we kept doing that and eventually walking became second nature. For the vast majority of you, our listeners, you’re able to walk. And for those who may have a handicap of some kind for you getting around now is, is probably still way easier than it was when you first learned how to use a wheelchair or crutches or whatever aid you might need. Because that’s the way it works. That’s the way humans work is things are hard. And then we learn.

So what do we say? Cause that’s what’s happening. That’s the, the landscape of what’s happening is that clients are actually arguing against their own success by telling you how hard it is. Like you don’t know, like you weren’t there working through it in the first place. But still some clients feel the need to tell you how hard working through your program is. Growing their business is. Growing as a person expanding their awareness, their capabilities, learning to eat and exercise and work in different ways. It’s hard. That’s life. So what do we say?

Well, there’s the classic phrase that we would always recommend to say which is “what do you mean?” It’s the easiest thing? Tell me more. Oh, how’s it? How’s it hard? As much as you can, just like we talked about last week where what you say when a client asks for a refund, what do we say? Well keep them talking first of all. Don’t say anything cause anything you say at this point is going to be mostly an assumption of what’s really going on inside of their head and if you’ve been at this awhile like I have, you probably have a pretty good guess of what’s going on inside of their head, but that doesn’t mean that you should hold onto that assumption because not only will you learn more by hearing them tell you and learning more is going to take shape in a bunch of different ways.

You’ll be able to then reincorporate what they tell you back into your program and things like that. You’ll be able to head that off in the past. If you see commonalities of clients saying that. You’ll be able to set their expectations in the beginning when they’re first signing up for your program. When they’re first signing up with you, you’ll be able to set their expectations about the parts that might be hard. We’ll talk about that later on a future episode and some tips and tricks to do that around onboarding. But you want to ask them for more information. You wanna keep them talking. Cause the second thing that that does besides give you information is it lets them spill their guts all out on the table. Cause you can’t work with them until they’re out on the table. It’s like playing with Legos. You have to take the big bin, you have to dump it on the table and then you have all the pieces to work with and you need to do the same thing with your client. You need them to spill it cause then you have things to work with. So once they spill it, what do you do? What do you say?

Well to start with, you want to filter out any of the concerns around things that they might be doing wrong. So if there are any, you know, areas where they’re doing something wrong in your process, they’re not following the process, they’re making it harder on themselves because they’re not using your process. You want to highlight that is is one thing you want to be keeping in mind as you’re going through that. But the very first thing you want to say to them is you want to give them a show of empathy. Yes, this can be hard, and then you want to, you know, pause again. Let them say anything else. Sometimes you’ll say that and then they’ll… It’s like you hear them have sigh of relief and then they want to tell you a whole bunch of other things, right?

If you see an example of where they’re making it harder on themselves, this is a great time to interject that, Hey, I’m hearing you say something and you want to always as much as you can. You want to start it with a question. I hear you saying that you’re trying to do this asZ , Y, X, am I hearing you right? I say, yes, yes, yes. And then you can follow up with, well, so have you tried it X, Y, Z instead of ZYX, and then you might hear them say, ah, yes I have. Or Oh no, I haven’t thought of that. They might even double down on on arguing against their own success, right? And say, Oh yeah, I’ve tried that, that that’s, that’s not any easier. That’s a sign you need to keep digging. Keep digging deeper. Why do you think that is not any easier? What happened when you try it? Keep going down the rabbit hole with them. As much as you can ask those questions to keep bringing the fact pattern out on the table. But eventually you’re almost certainly going to have to call out the fact that they’re arguing for their own limitations. And the way that works is you say it can be really hard, but why do you want to do this in the first place?

They may, they may give you the answer that they gave you when they were on that first sales call first found you, or they might start to argue against what they really want. You might have to remind them of what they’ve said in the past and you might even need to help them prop up their vision, give them a powerful vision. Well, you can follow up and say, well, I remember you saying that you wanted this future that looks like this. Do you still want that? Oh yeah, I still want that, but why is it so hard?

Here’s the thing, as much as you can both proactively in your program and reactively, when clients show up to tell you things like this, you need to help them understand that what they’re going through isn’t broken success, the struggles they’re feeling, the pain that they’re going through as they’re getting up and stumbling and tripping and falling and learning how to walk. That is not broken success. That is what success looks like. And as much as you can help them connect to what that goal feels like, it doesn’t even matter what it looks like, but what does it feel like in the future? As much as you can help show them that feeling both by your own living example, and you can show them that feeling for their own life, their own business, their own world, you can connect those dots. The more you can re enroll them into a powerful future where the work that it took to get there seems like nothing.

That’s what you say. Hope that’s been helpful. If you have a question for What To Say Wednesday, check out the show notes at slash this is the seventh episode, so slash seven the number seven. That’s the show notes for today’s episode, and we will include a link there for you to actually fill out a little form and tell us if you have a question. You can also sign up for reminders so that you never miss an episode of the Client Whisperer Show. Good luck. Talk soon.

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